Counseling For Couples: Breaking Up But Living Together

When couples living together break up, sometimes no one moves out. Why? The answer is money. Some people who can’t save the relationship still live together to save money. How can two people live in this situation? Here are my five tips:

Sit down and go over the finances BEFORE anything else. Leave feelings out of this as much as possible. Come up with a plan that both feel is fair and feasible. Try to divide things up as closely as possible to 50/50.

Set a goal such as: “We are going to be living in the same place until …” This could be a time frame: six months, three months, one year and so forth. This could be a financial frame: “We are going to live together until we both have paid our joint debts” or “until one of us has paid off what he or she owes the other” or “until one of us finds a job. This should happen within a certain number of weeks.” Make a commitment to each other to respect your joint plan and not change it unless you discuss it first.

Share with each other information that affects the two of you. Did one of you find a new job or did you or your partner lose one? Is there a major change that may affect your mutual agreement? Couples should also share minor changes that affect each other. For instance, if you decide to spend the night somewhere else and you have always been very consistent with your schedule, leave a note or send a text to your partner about this change so he or she does not worry about your whereabouts. This doesn’t mean you need to tell your partner everything you do and everywhere you go, but it is common courtesy to let your partner know that you are OK.

Talk about your feelings for one another. Quite likely one of you is emotionally ready to move on, whereas the other may still be hoping your relationship can be repaired. It is important you know where each of you stands.

Discuss how you want to handle new relationships. How does each of you feel about the other getting involved with someone else? Is it OK to bring a new friend home? How can you do this in a courteous and respectful way?

Related posts:

  1. Writing About Couples With Mozart In The Morning
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